Approach young players in distress in ways that are comfortable for them according to their culture, age and gender, and the kind of distress they may be experiencing.

For an anxious player, use a soft voice and gentle approach. For a withdrawn player, acknowledge their distress without forcing conversation. For an angry player, stay calm to create a predictable environment.

Be mindful not only of what you say, but how you say it and your body language. Offer support in safe, visible spaces. Adapt your approach to each situation to ensure safety and comfort for all (see 1. Foundations in Safeguarding).

For example, it may be more appropriate for a young player from a certain culture to be supported by a coach of the same gender. Also, touching some young players may trigger unsafe feelings. Ask what is comfortable for them before hugging or touching them, so they can set their physical boundaries and have a sense of control (see some cool-down exercises here).

A distressed young player needs to feel calmer before they can connect with their coach and reflect upon the situation. (Remember: calm-connect-coach!).

Instead of isolating a distressed player, guide them through activities to help them regulate. This can include reset activities, bouncing a ball, walking, running, or kicking a ball with someone. 

If coaching solo, assess if the player can do this alone and check in later, or if the coach needs to attend to them directly while others engage in a different activity.

Listening well is a skill and is the greatest gift we can give to a person in distress. The most helpful way to support someone in distress is often just by simply listening without judgment. Being present, accepting and understanding helps build a connection that promotes healing and recovery, even if you don’t have a solution to their problem. Engaged, non-judgmental listening is crucial for young players sharing difficult emotions or memories, as it helps them feel accepted for who they are. Don’t overload the young person with a lot of questions or give a lot of advice they haven’t asked for. Instead, give them space to share their story, offer practical comfort like a glass of water, and help them feel safe so they can develop their own solutions together with the coach.

Coaches can help young players develop simple, immediate solutions to help them take a first step toward managing the problem, feeling better and enabling them to stay engaged in the sport activity. Whether re-joining activities immediately or after recovery, it’s crucial to co-create solutions together, rather than the coach dictating actions. This gives the young player autonomy and choice, helping them regain a sense of control and building their skills to problem-solve. Having agency supports their healing and recovery from stressful events.

Distress can leave young players feeling out of control and reduce their self-confidence. Helping them recognise and use their existing strengths and coping skills boosts confidence and self-efficacy. Ask players about their positive coping strategies and support systems that help them feel better. Encourage them to use those resources including friends, team-mates, family and others in the community with whom they feel connected. Highlight strategies that are harmful that should be avoided, e.g., smoking, drinking, fighting.

Coaches play a special role as mentors in young players’ lives, but they also need to understand the limits of that role. Safe and supportive coaching involves recognising when a young player needs more support than a coach can provide. Young players affected by displacement may need additional support from social services, health or mental health professionals, legal support and other specialised services.